Courage

Today I claim my right, purpose and heartfelt desire to be an artist. I now understand this is something only I can give myself. My whole life I have been waiting for other people (or miracles) to lead me to my calling. But now I see that it is something I must own. This immediately brings up fear. It's scary to think it, even scarier to write it. What if I am wrong? As in there is really something else I should be doing and I am wasting precious time or as in I have no talent and I am delusional or (the worst of all) I am taking the easy way out. But it doesn't feel that way. It feels like I am ready to stop drifting and to start start standing on my own two feet. To say out loud for all to hear.....I am an artist....and I am willing to assume my role as a mediatrix for the collective.

Since I last wrote my art room (and my blog) and my relationship have been on hold. Two reasons: an old friend came to visit and to celebrate my birthday. This proved to be a mixed blessing. It was fun to laugh over the old times and painful to face just how far apart we are now on every level. The other reason is a new spiritual path has opened up before me and I find myself following it. Now as I sit in my art room (finally) I realize both my creativity and my relationship have grown in my absence. Funny how that works.

Another perfect day in paradise

One of those days when you feel guilty for being inside but alas that is exactly where I have been. Reading with the intention to better understand the man I have been spending time with for the last three plus years. No longer wanting to understand in order to change him, now my focus is on understanding why our relationship has failed to launch. Happily the day was not wasted as I have learned a lot. The key is that I first had to let go of the programming that says that it is the woman's/my responsibility to make a relationship work. Any relationship,even one's that are not compatible. Huge lesson. Indoor time well spent. Now the art room.

YouTube - Stand By Me - Beautiful International Version

YouTube - Stand By Me - Beautiful International Version

January 17, 2009

As grand old Jupiter jovially approches the much anticipated meeting with my very own Sun at 5 degrees Aquarius I find myself expanding in every direction. I have to be careful not to become overwhelmed by it all. To not feel like I am unraveling with the increased inspiration. This afternoon will be spent in my art room. More on that tomorrow.

YouTube - Charlie bit my finger - again !

YouTube - Charlie bit my finger - again !